Showing posts with label England. Show all posts
Showing posts with label England. Show all posts

Monday, 13 October 2014

... saying please AND thank you


My grandmother lived by a list of rules that often only she understood - for example she felt saying 'please' and 'thank you' meant very different things and it was not necessary to say both for the same action. She wasn't able to explain details of the dos and don'ts but I remember she often softened requests with other words.
"Pass me that book, dear". - "Thank you".
"Please clean that up."  -  "Now, isn't that better?"

She didn't think it was necessary to say 'thank you' to someone who was being paid for what they were doing, such as delivery men or waiters, and this horrified my mother who was all about making people feel comfortable.

While working with exchange students some years ago I came across different customs regarding politeness. One student from Finland told me their language had no words for 'please' and 'thank you' - but another explained that 'kiitos' is used for both. 

A Canadian student complained that Australians overdo 'thank you'. She thought it should only be for nice things, like when receiving a gift. In her words "I handed the girl a bag of trash and she said thank you?  You don't say thank you for trash." 

In Italian the word Prego stands for please. It actually means I beg, or I pray, but in context it is used as - certainly, sorry, pardon, excuse me, you're welcome, don't mention it, no problem, it's alright.  And, when someone says 'Grazi', or thank you, the response is ... 'prego'. So many things sound romantic in Italian.

An old fashioned word, probably understood by my grandmother, is etiquette. This describes a code of behaviour expected by a particular society. Even if it was not technically accurate, etiquette demanded people at least appeared to meet a certain standard.  From the 1500s to the 1900s etiquette was a school subject in most English speaking countries and people were judged on their good manners.  Today there is an element of meaningless to some of these rituals.

One ritual is the handshake, originally a gesture of peace, because the weapon hands are held tightly. Polite language, "How do you do," "How are you?" developed to create an sense of respect and peace, even if people were talking through clenched teeth.

In English 'please' is short for 'if you please', or 'if it pleases you to do this', as does the French 'si il vous plait' and the Spanish 'por favor'.

When we ask someone to 'Pass the butter, please', we are saying - 'Pass the butter to me, even though I am not saying you must, it is a social obligation'.  Of course this can't be refused, even though it is not an order.

The English 'please' is used to add politeness to a request.  It is used at the end of a sentence, after a comma.
May I borrow your pen, please?
Could you wait for me, please?

And, 'please' is used in the phrase 'Yes, please', to confirm an offer.
Would you like more ice cream?  - Yes, please.

We also use 'please' to add a polite note to a single order or instruction, and then it comes at the beginning.
Please sit down.
Please be quite.

We do not use 'please' when giving a firm order or a list of instructions.
Stop that right now.  
Put the gun down and step away.

And 'please' is not used as a response to 'thank you'.  Other expressions are used instead.
Thank you.  -  You're welcome.
Thank you. - It was my pleasure.

We use 'thank you' when a compliment is given.    
You look lovely today.  - Thank you.
Your sponge cake was delicious.  - Thank you.

Offers can be accepted and refused with 'thank you'.
Can I get you a cold drink?  - Yes, thank you.
Will you come for a swim?  - No, thank you. I don't have time.

In English 'thank you' comes from the word 'think'. It originally meant 'In my mind I will remember what you did for me' (in order to pay you back).
The Portuguese 'obrigado' means 'much obliged' or 'I am obliged to you' or 'I am in your debt'.
The French 'merci' comes from 'mercy', as in begging for mercy because you are (symbolically) in your benefactor's power because a debtor is a criminal.
The Chinese have various ways of saying 'thank you' for a gift or a favour but not for a compliment as their desire for humility forces them to politely deflect compliments.  A forced humility can be seen in our culture at times, but is often translated as 'fishing for more compliments'.

The next stage of response is - 'You're welcome' or 'It's nothing' or 'It's my pleasure'. In French it is 'de rien' and in Spanish 'de nada'.  This is a reassurance that there is no debt, in fact it is often a credit position.


So the simple request at the dinner table can be a coded message.

"Would you pass the butter, please?"  (Pass the butter to me if it pleases you to do that as while this is not an order, it is a social obligation.)

"Certainly".   The butter is passed. (The favour is done.)

"Thank you". (I will remember that you did this for me and I am now in your debt.)

"You're welcome". (You are not in my debt as you have provided me with the opportunity of doing something that pleased me.)

But we can't write this off as being outdated because over 500 years these niceties have become signals that form part of our relationships. "Please' and 'Thank you' can still signal the difference between a requested favour and a demand for something owed.


Many people feel we should err on the side of overuse because the boundaries are vague and different values mean not saying the polite words can be misinterpreted. Others say that overuse, or incorrect use causes confusion.

Today, saying 'thank you' can be a great motivational tool - as a show of respect, appreciation and also encouragement.

We'd all agree it is very good to say "Thank you" when presented with flowers or a box of Belgium chocolates, and it doubles as a reward for the giver, and, if we have asked someone to pass us the bag of rubbish (trash), as appreciation or compensation for doing an unpleasant job, but, should we say "Thank you" when a friend repays money that has been owing for some time and causing great inconvenience? We do, but I think my grandmother would say no to that one.






Wednesday, 1 January 2014

on the12 Days of Christmas

Another Christmas over, and all the crazy activity, panic gift buying, mind blowing decorations, and far too much food has been gobbled up and choked down. Sadly, the lovely songs, hymns and carols from Christmas will be packed away too and that is a shame. There is no reason we can't sing them all year.

I recently had an email about the song, The 12 days of Christmas - someone knows I am interested in origins, and so I had a look at the song and the known history.  I always thought of it as a folk song and as children we used it as a counting back song, having fun getting the gifts in correct order, especially at the end. Technically it is a cumulative song, that is each verse builds on top of the previous verses. 

The actual 12 Days of Christmas is the annual festive period on the Catholic calendar (and maybe Anglican) beginning on December 25 and going until January 6th - which is Twelfth Night or the Feast of the Epiphany.  Other importance was attached to the Twelve Days as the weather on each day was carefully observed to predict what it would be in the corresponding month of the coming year.

Each of the 12 verses describe a gift given by 'my true love' on one of the 12 days of Christmas.

Gift giving at Christmas time, during the middle ages, was not within the family, but wealthy people gave money to the poor on St Steven's Day/ Boxing Day. Servants, who had worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day often had a holiday on the day after Christmas and were given Christmas Boxes of leftover food and gifts or money, to take home and share with their families.

Over hundreds of years, and with improvements in living standards, different groups developed various gift giving traditions with some giving gifts on Twelfth Night, some on Christmas Day and some on various days in between. If it were possible to give the gifts mentioned in the song, you might not get much change from $60,000 in today's money.



The oldest English version if the song was printed in children's book called Mirth without Mischief, in 1780. The rhyme, then called The Twelve Days of Christmas sung at King Pepin's Ball, was suggested as a Twelfth Night  memories-and-forfeits  game. This is what children did before television. A leader recited a verse, each of the players repeated the verse, the leader added another verse, and so on until one of the players made a mistake.  That player had to pay a penalty, such as offering up a kiss, for the teens, or a sweet, for the little children.  One hundred years later, a collector of folktales and rhymes, described how it was played every Twelfth Day night before eating mince pies and twelfth cake.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves,
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,6 Geese-a-Laying, 5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens,
2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
8 Maids-a-Milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 Gold Rings
4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
9 Ladies Dancing, 8 Maids-a-Milking, 7 swans a swimming6 geese a laying, 5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 10th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
10 Lords-a-Leaping, 9 Ladies Dancing, 8 Maids-a-Milking
7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 Gold Rings
4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
11 Pipers Piping, 10 Lords-a-Leaping, 9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids-a-Milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying
5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves, And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
12 Drummers Drumming, 11 Pipers Piping, 10 Lords-a-Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing, 8 Maids-a-Milking, 7 swans a swimming
6 geese a laying, 5 Gold Rings, 4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.


The lyrics have varied over the years, as happens with folk songs that travel. In early versions the gifts were 'sent to me' and later 'my true love gave to me'.   The 1780 version mentions 4 colly birds, a regional name for black birds.  This has changed through the years to canary birds, coloured birds and now calling birds in the popular version.  I was taught to put the partridge IN a pear tree, but some sing a partridge AND a pear tree. There is a suggestion that all the gifts were originally birds, the five gold rings being the markings on the ringed pheasant or five goldspinks (goldfinches) and those five gold rings have become five golden rings, possibly to fit the music.

In the north of England there were only 10 gifts and 10 verses, in others the last four gifts were changed around so the order of the Lords and Ladies were swapped with the musicians. As the song spread the gifts changed, this changed the song and some versions became alliterative tongue-twisters. That sounds interesting.

Far away in the Faroe Islands, which are between Norway and Iceland but belong to the Kingdom of Denmark, the gifts have changed to; one feather, two geese, three sides of meat, four sheep, five cows, six oxen, seven dishes, eight ponies, nine banners, ten barrels, eleven goats, twelve men, thirteen hides, fourteen rounds of cheese and fifteen deer.  In the late 1990's these appeared on a series of just two stamps. (Now that's fascinating trivia)

A novel published in 1862 gives us, my true love sent me five hares running, four ducks quacking, three fat hens, two turtle doves. a partridge and a pear-tree.  And a Scottish version includes an Arabian baboon and three stalks o'merry corn. Of course in modern times we like variety and there are versions that include Australian animals and whatever else you can think up.


There were several melodies for the song but the one we know
 today was added to the lyrics in 1909 by Frederic Austin. It was an
 arrangement of a traditional tune, to which he added his own 2 bar motif for five gold rings. He also added the four calling birds. Those who understand the history of music say the song's folk origin is obvious by inconsistencies such as - the introductory lines are made up of two 4/4 bars, while the lines of gifts have one 3/4 bar changing again on the Partridge. This is not an area I understand though it is vaguely familiar from music lessons I had at school.  The melody of the second to fourth verses is different in the fifth to twelfth verses .... which is understandable as there are more words. I think this is the beauty of folk music - no rules because the lyrics and the melody has been added to and embroidered like a crazy patchwork quilt, until we were able to record it and insist that it never changes again.

So, the email I was sent stated that the song in fact was a coded message for Catholic children. During the English Reformation of the 16 century the Roman Catholics in England were persecuted and driven underground. The story goes that this 'carol' was written as a catechism song for children. The gifts are codes for points of Catholic belief.

The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ. Some say the tree represents the cross.
2  turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments
3  French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
4   calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
5   golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
6   geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
7  swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit - Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,   Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
8  maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
9  Ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit-Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
10 Lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
11 pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
12 drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So, is this a secret, hidden for centruries, or is it a fun folk song that doubles as a counting lesson?

I don't give references with my research because anyone can find the same information on the net and if I give all the references it would fill up my page, and that's my job. Also, if someone else decided to check what I've said through google, they might find even better information than I have found.



This theory of an underground catechism song for oppressed Catholics was not mentioned anywhere until a Canadian English teacher, and part-time hymnologist published an article in 1979. A Catholic priest picked up the idea and wrote an article in 1982, claiming that there were old letters from priests and interviews with elderly Canadian Catholics to support it .... but in the end the evidence he offered was, "I can at most report what this song's symbols have suggested to me in the course of four decades".  Fair enough I think, in fact I rather like that as evidence.


But, historians, who know their stuff, dispute the interpretation and the underlying premise making comments such as;

"This was not originally a Catholic song, no matter what you hear on the Internet, neutral reference books say this is nonsense",

"Every religious song, every religious carol has at least depth in it, something that has some spirituality in it. This is frothy, light and frothy.""If you think of all the things being presented, you realize they're all gifts from a lover to a woman. Some of them are rather impossible to give, like eight maids a milking and nine ladies dancing. All those ladies and dancing and pipers and drums imply this is a wedding."
"There are the decidedly un-biblical fertility symbols — the partridge in a pear tree, for example. The pear is equivalent to the heart and the partridge is a famous aphrodisiac. And how about those six geese a-laying! Seven of the song's 12 verses feature birds of various kinds, all of them symbols of fertility. The whole song seems to me to point to a festival of joy and love more appropriate to a secular holiday like Valentine's Day or May Day than a religious holiday"
"The validity of the song’s second verse has always been questionable for the simple reason turtle doves leave English shores and begin migrating south from the end of September".

There is the French connection; 
"At least three similar New Years' or spring French carols feature a partridge, perfriz or perdriole, as the first gift.  The pear tree appears only in the English version, but the 'pear-tree' could be perdrix (Old French pertriz) carried into English as pear tree. There is a French red-legged partridge that frequently perches in trees.  A juniper trees apprears in some English versions and that may have come from the French 'joli perdrix' meaning pretty partridge.  The adjective 'French' in 'three French hens', probably simply means foreign.
 And  ... the argument was still going on in 2000,
"This is a genuine urban myth. There are a number of clues that give it away as a tall tale but most important is the fact that none of the supposedly secret meanings is distinctly Catholic. None of the twelve codes would have been considered anything but normal Christian orthodoxy by the Protestants which ruled England at the time, so it would not need to have been imparted clandestinely. If any of the meanings had been about the special status for Catholics accorded by Mary during her brief rule (1553-1558) or the theology of the Mass or papal monarchy, etc. then the story might be more believable. In fact "the 12 Days" is just one of a number of similar counting songs found in almost every European language."

So, it seems there is no evidence that underground catechism songs for Catholics were common, or even existed during or after the English Reformation.  There are a few examples of accumulative catechism songs, "Green grow the rushes, O," and "Go where I send thee", and there are "coded" nursery rhymes, Sing a song of sixpence and Rock-a-by, baby, but none of them qualify in terms of having hidden meanings  and also Catholic meanings.

Could it be that the "The Twelve Days of Christmas" originated as a religious song and was kept so secret or had such a covert meaning, that it was simply forgotten by the mid-1800s?  What do you think? 





Wednesday, 2 October 2013

and KEEPING CALM

Once upon a time, in the north east of England, there were two lovely people named Manley.  Mary Manley, who was American born, and her English husband, Stuart Manley, who had a small manufacturing business in an old Victorian Railway station in the little town of Alnwick. Mary dreamed of opening a second hand book shop, using the swap system, and she planned to call it Barter Books. Fortunately Stuart liked the idea and said she could use the front room, of the railway station, for her book shop. So she did and Barter Books opened in 1991.

Skipping to the year 2000, Stuart was unpacking a box of old books they had picked up at auction, when, at the bottom of the box he found a sheet of folded paper. It turned out to be an old poster. He liked it and showed it to Mary. She liked it too, so much that without knowing anything about it she had the poster framed and put it up in the shop. 


Customers in the book shop noticed the poster and asked if they could buy one. So Mary and Stuart had copies printed and soon they were selling posters, over 40,000 copies in the first 8 years. 

The Keep Calm message was so popular it soon spread around the world, but where had it come from?

Going back 61 years to early 1939, when England faced the threat of another war,   The Ministry of Information commissioned three inspirational posters to be used in the interest of public safety - to assure the population that all necessary steps to defend the nation were being taken, and to stress an attitude of mind, during the difficult times they expected were ahead.

As the posters conveyed a message from the King to his people they were designed to be difficult to counterfeit -  with a handsome typeface topped by the crown of King George Vl, on a plain coloured background. Five million posters were printed.

The first poster stated ...
                    Freedom Is In Peril. Defend It With All Your Might.

... to alert the population to the seriousness of war.

The second poster stated ...
                    Your Courage, Your Cheerfulness,
                    Your Resolution Will Bring Us Victory.

... to encourage the nation to rally as one.

The second poster states ...
                    Keep Calm and Carry On.

... to reassure people when the country was invaded or occupied.





Posters 1 & 2 were displayed in public places - Railway Stations, Post Offices and shop windows from September 1939.   

Poster 3 was never used.

At the end of the war the unused posters were sent off to be destroyed ... all, it seems, except one, and it remained out of sight until discovered in a box of books more than 60 years later.

The posters Mary and Stuart sold were so popular the message was shared on line and suddenly Keep Calm and Carry On belonged to everyone. 

In 2007 online shops were selling the slogan on T-shirts and bags. Then one T-shirt company released a range of shirts that spoofed the poster such as Keep Calm and carry on sewing or Now Panic and Freak Out. Before long web stores allowed customers to design their own Keep Calm slogans.





By 2009 England was dealing with the global economic crisis and the attitude of mind conveyed by Keep Calm and Carry On became a strength to people who were struggling. At one stage 85 variations of the poster were recorded and it has become one of the first icons of the 21st century, appearing on walls, clothing, crockery, tote bags, and all types of souvenirs.






I was delighted when I discovered this story and to me this expression of keeping on is one to be celebrated. Firstly because in 1939 it was NOT needed. There was no invasion and no occupation.  But, the poster survived for over 60 years to bring the message of encouragement to the following generations - a reassurance that we go on, no matter what comes, to live our lives, to do our work and to care for each other.

We do not always understand the politics or economics of our world but we all have a place here, we all have a part to play in life on this planet - we just have to keep calm and carry on with it.




But back to the book shop.  The original building was designed by William Bell in 1887. As a railway station it was huge, 32,000 sq feet, far too grand for a small market town - but the town was also the seat of the Dukes of Northumberland, who would attract visiting royalty and so an impressive structure was necessary. The line closed in 1968 and the station building was put to several uses before becoming Barter Books.

The shop has many attractions, apart from a huge selection of second hand books, including open fires in winter, a refreshment room with skylights, a model railway, huge art works, free wifi, a children's room, plenty of seating, a reading room with newspapers and a display of antiquarian books. It's almost worth a trip to England to visit Barter Books.



Station built in 1887 - and as it is today