... saying please AND thank you

My grandmother lived by a list of rules that often only she understood - for example she felt saying 'please' and 'thank you' meant very different things and it was not necessary to say both for the same action. She wasn't able to explain details of the dos and don'ts but I remember she often softened requests with other words.

"Pass me that book, dear". - "Thank you".

"Please clean that up."  -  "Now, isn't that better?"

She didn't think it was necessary to say 'thank you' to someone who was being paid for what they were doing, such as delivery men or waiters, and this horrified my mother who was all about making people feel comfortable.

While working with exchange students some years ago I came across different customs regarding politeness. One student from Finland told me their language had no words for 'please' and 'thank you' - but another explained that 'kiitos' is used for both. 

A Canadian student complained that Australians overdo 'thank you'. She thought it should only be for nice things, like when receiving a gift. In her words "I handed the girl a bag of trash and she said thank you?  You don't say thank you for trash." 

In Italian the word Prego stands for please. It actually means I beg, or I pray, but in context it is used as - certainly, sorry, pardon, excuse me, you're welcome, don't mention it, no problem, it's alright.  And, when someone says 'Grazi', or thank you, the response is ... 'prego'. So many things sound romantic in Italian.

An old fashioned word, probably understood by my grandmother, is etiquette. This describes a code of behaviour expected by a particular society. Even if it was not technically accurate, etiquette demanded people at least appeared to meet a certain standard.  From the 1500s to the 1900s etiquette was a school subject in most English speaking countries and people were judged on their good manners.  Today there is an element of meaningless to some of these rituals.

One ritual is the handshake, originally a gesture of peace, because the weapon hands are held tightly. Polite language, "How do you do," "How are you?" developed to create an sense of respect and peace, even if people were talking through clenched teeth.

In English 'please' is short for 'if you please', or 'if it pleases you to do this', as does the French 'si il vous plait' and the Spanish 'por favor'.

When we ask someone to 'Pass the butter, please', we are saying - 'Pass the butter to me, even though I am not saying you must, it is a social obligation'.  Of course this can't be refused, even though it is not an order.

The English 'please' is used to add politeness to a request.  It is used at the end of a sentence, after a comma.

May I borrow your pen, please?

Could you wait for me, please?

And, 'please' is used in the phrase 'Yes, please', to confirm an offer.

Would you like more ice cream?  - Yes, please.

We also use 'please' to add a polite note to a single order or instruction, and then it comes at the beginning.

Please sit down.

Please be quite.

We do not use 'please' when giving a firm order or a list of instructions.
Stop that right now.  

Put the gun down and step away.

And 'please' is not used as a response to 'thank you'.  Other expressions are used instead.

Thank you.  -  You're welcome.

Thank you. - It was my pleasure.

We use 'thank you' when a compliment is given.    

You look lovely today.  - Thank you.

Your sponge cake was delicious.  - Thank you.

Offers can be accepted and refused with 'thank you'.

Can I get you a cold drink?  - Yes, thank you.

Will you come for a swim?  - No, thank you. I don't have time.

In English 'thank you' comes from the word 'think'. It originally meant 'In my mind I will remember what you did for me' (in order to pay you back).

The Portuguese 'obrigado' means 'much obliged' or 'I am obliged to you' or 'I am in your debt'.

The French 'merci' comes from 'mercy', as in begging for mercy because you are (symbolically) in your benefactor's power because a debtor is a criminal.

The Chinese have various ways of saying 'thank you' for a gift or a favour but not for a compliment as their desire for humility forces them to politely deflect compliments.  A forced humility can be seen in our culture at times, but is often translated as 'fishing for more compliments'.

The next stage of response is - 'You're welcome' or 'It's nothing' or 'It's my pleasure'. In French it is 'de rien' and in Spanish 'de nada'.  This is a reassurance that there is no debt, in fact it is often a credit position.

So the simple request at the dinner table can be a coded message.

"Would you pass the butter, please?"  (Pass the butter to me if it pleases you to do that as while this is not an order, it is a social obligation.)

"Certainly".   The butter is passed. (The favour is done.)

"Thank you". (I will remember that you did this for me and I am now in your debt.)

"You're welcome". (You are not in my debt as you have provided me with the opportunity of doing something that pleased me.)

But we can't write this off as being outdated because over 500 years these niceties have become signals that form part of our relationships. "Please' and 'Thank you' can still signal the difference between a requested favour and a demand for something owed.

Many people feel we should err on the side of overuse because the boundaries are vague and different values mean not saying the polite words can be misinterpreted. Others say that overuse, or incorrect use causes confusion.

Today, saying 'thank you' can be a great motivational tool - as a show of respect, appreciation and also encouragement.

We'd all agree it is very good to say "Thank you" when presented with flowers or a box of Belgium chocolates, and it doubles as a reward for the giver, and, if we have asked someone to pass us the bag of rubbish (trash), as appreciation or compensation for doing an unpleasant job, but, should we say "Thank you" when a friend repays money that has been owing for some time and causing great inconvenience? We do, but I think my grandmother would say no to that one.

in the Apothecary

Apothecary - a word not used often these days and one that is not easy to say. It refers to a person who makes and sells medicines. In the middle ages Apothecaries also delivered babies and practiced surgery and dentistry. The apothecaries were the forerunners of pharmacists and chemists.

The apothecary table with the tradition small drawers

An apothecary garden was where medicines were grown, in the form of herbs. During the middle ages most large households had a kitchen garden, for vegetables, and an apothecary garden for the herbs that were to be used in medicines and toiletries. The house keepers of the wealthy, and farmers wives, were skilled in making everything from soap to cures for gout and diarrhoea.  

Large apothecary gardens were created in monasteries and tended by the monks who also acted as apothecaries for the local area. Medicines were prepared and stored in a special room - also known as the apothecary.

Medicinal plants were the only medicine, and drinking infusions or potions, rubbing on salve or piling on a poultice was the way to treat most ailments. The cures offered by what we now call conventional medicine, are often chemical imitations of these old remedies.

In an apothecary garden each plant was known and valued for its curative properties.  Plants were collected from other areas and countries to be studied. Raised garden beds were often used and I was excited when my husband agreed made some for me, as well as terracing other areas of our garden.  It's so much easier to care for the plants when you don't have to bend double or crawl around on the ground with them.

Below are some herbs commonly found in apothecary gardens. All these plants are available today and can be found in many gardens where those who understand them make use of their powers.  Of course many of these cures are traditional and have not been proved by science, which didn't stop apothecaries in the middle ages because they had nothing else, but these days health and safety issues mean that warnings should be given.  Information of how to grow and to use herbs is available online.  I don't add links because new information is constantly being up loaded, adding to the choice of many good websites.

These aloes have been very useful this week.

Aloe Vera:  An easy growing succulent, Aloe Vera does well in the ground or in pots. It is antiseptic and can be used for skin irritations; burns, cuts, grazes and other sores.  This week I used several leaves from this plant, scraping out the gel to treat a wound on my arm where I'd had a skin cancer removed. I was amazed at how well it actually worked - swelling and inflammation gone over night, skin healing up.

The soft gel inside the leaf can be eaten or applied straight to a wound. Cut a leaf close to the bottom of the plant, slice off the sharp sides and cut and peel one side back to reveal the gel inside. This can be applied directly from the plant. Aloe Vera is also used for digestive problems - if you are eating it you can use a teaspoon to scrape the gel away from the leaf skin but do not eat the lining of the skin as it tastes horrible.

My potted Bay trees behind comfrey plants

Bay:  Usually grown as a seasoning bay is an attractive ornamental shrub, or if allowed to grow wildly, a huge tree.  It can be use as decorative topiary, pruned into different shapes. The leaves are very fragrant, especially when dried, and can be broken into hot dishes such as soup and stew. It is used with fish and in homemade tomato sauce and is a necessary component of the French bouquet garni.  The leaf itself is bitter and not really edible and as it does not soften in cooking it is removed before eating.
  

Bay leaves are exceptionally rich in vitamins A, B and C, folic acid and the minerals copper, potassium, calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron, selenium and manganese. They also contain essential phytochemicals and volatile oils. Bay can improve the skin,  remove free radicals and boost the immune system; strengthen eyesight and maintain mucus membranes.  The potassium is important for cell and body fluids, blood pressure and heart rate. 

As a traditional medicinal plant Bay has been used to treat earaches and rheumatism and is used as an insect repellent - though some people find it irritates the skin.  I am very impressed by what I've learned about Bay.

Comfrey:  This is my favourite herb.  Comfrey is a perennial herb that aids healing, though it should not be used on open wounds. It is anti-inflammatory and can be applied to sprains and strains, broken bones and bruises, either by making a quick poultice of crushed leaves and your usual moisturiser or hand cream and applied it straight onto the skin, or by heating chopped leaves in good quality olive oil for half an hour and, when cool, using that for massage. You can also add bees wax to the hot comfrey oil to make a salve.  

Echinacea: This useful and beautiful plant loves the sun and is very forgiving of drought. It comes from North America and was a traditional herbal remedy of the Great Plains Indian tribes.  As an anti-inflammatory it has been used to speed up recovery from the common cold and flu, for urinary tract infections, vaginal yeast infections, herpes, septicaemia, gum disease, tonsillitis, strep infections, typhoid, malaria and diphtheria. It can boost the immune system when taken internally and reduce the effects of upper respiratory infections. Other uses include chronic fatigue syndrome, migraine, acid indigestion, dizziness and, applied to the skin, boils, abscesses, skin wounds, ulcers, burns, eczema, psoriasis, herpes, bee stings and haemorrhoids.  That is a great long list.  Echinacea is available as a dried herb, as a liquid and in capsule form. The fresh leaves, flowers and stems can be made into an infusion (tea) for drinking.

There are warnings for Echinacea - it should not be taken indefinitely, so if you are treating yourself long term it's a good idea to take it for two weeks and then have a week off.  Also some people could be allergic to Echinacea, especially those allergic to ragweed, marigolds, or daisies or if you are on medication for an auto-immune disorder.

New season ginger ready for market

Ginger:  An ancient spice from India, it is used in cooking around the world, often paired with garlic and onion or used in sweet dishes.  Ginger grows underground as a fleshy rhizome.   Planted in spring it grows through the summer and dies back in winter, though the root can be left underground for several months until needed, in a well drained area.  Ginger is found in many apothecary gardens for its antiseptic, analgesic, and antispasmodic properties. It stimulates the heart and settles the stomach. It can be used for colds, flu and muscle spasms, rheumatism, arthritis, migraine, sore throat, cholera, anorexia and to improve circulation and reduce fat deposits and many of these uses are supported by science.

Ginger is also a blood thinner and should be used with care by people on blood thinning medication.

Lemon Balm:  Most of us know this herb as a garnish for drinks and desserts. The fresh leaves can be added to fruit salad, garden salad, fruit punch, sorbet, marinades and sauces for fish and chicken, and combined with butter and pepper to serve with corn and broccoli. Mix it into apple crumble or with honey into a cheesecake.  Lemon Balm is from the mint family, it is antiviral and can be combined with other medicinal herbs. As an infusion it helps to cool the fever from colds or flu, it acts as a relaxant, relieves anxiety, soothes nervous indigestion and headaches. But, a warning here, Lemon Balm stimulates the thyroid so people on thyroid medication should avoid it.

Mint: We all know mint as a flavouring for cold drinks, hot tea and mint sauces as well as sweets and in toothpaste. There is a wide variety of mints and most are also prized for their nutritive and medicinal qualities. Members of the mint family include basil, bee balm, catnip, horehound, horsemint, hyssop, lavender, lemon balm, marjoram, oregano, peppermint rosemary, sage, savoury, spearmint, thyme, and there are  many others.

Traditional mint

While they all have their own medicinal properties most mints share the qualities of being analgesic, antimicrobial, antiseptic, antispasmodic, diaphoretic, digestive, repellent and stimulant.  They are usually found in herbal remedies that treat  headache, migraine, fever, sore throat and sinus and chest congestion.

You can add mint to your bath or the rinse water clean shiny hair. Externally mints can repel mosquitoes and ease the heat and itchiness from bites, stings, rashes, hives, eczema, some fungal infections and other minor wounds. 

As an infusion (hot tea) mint can help ease the symptoms of indigestion and irritable bowel syndrome, heartburn, flatulence, cramps, bloating, diarrhoea, and nausea.  If the common mint does not help try using spearmint, lavender or basil instead. The milder spearmint is also more suitable for children.  Peppermint contains a higher percentage of volatile oils and is considered a strong medicinal herb. 

Mint tea is made by steeping 2 - 4 teaspoons of chopped fresh leaves in 1 cup of just-boiled water for ten to fifteen minutes.  A strong decoction is often the best choice for external uses.

Calendula plant in flower - great for skin problems

I have other medicinal herbs in my apothecary garden including Bergamot, Chives, Calendula, Gotu Kola, Herb Robert, Nasturtium, Parsley, Rocket, Rosemary, Stevia and Yukka.  

I plan to add Dandelion and Liquorice eventually.  It's all a work in progress as I learn about each new plant.

I find the act of tending the herbs, gently plucking away damaged leaves, pulling weeds, mulching and watering has a very calming effect and I like to spend at least an hour in the garden most days and consult my herb books regularly to help my understanding.

One of my wonderful raised gardens

Looking at the MOON

I struggle to understand the phases and orbits of our MOON - and conversations with my Science teacher husband and my Scientist brother, who both claim knowledge and understanding of moons, planets and space stuff as one of their high interest subjects, just lead to my brain shutting down and I'm soon humming the old nursery rhyme.... 

I see the moon,    
The moon sees me.  
God bless the moon, 
And God bless me.

I do know the moon is about a quarter the size of the earth, that it takes 27.3 days to orbit the earth and I've also read that it takes 29 days to go through it's 'phases', from full moon to no moon, new moon and full moon again.  Apparently that has something to do with the moons slightly sloppy orbit, so that each time it goes around it takes a little longer and that's as far as my understanding goes.

However, I do enjoy creative stories, origins and interesting history tit-bits and there are even some jokes about the moon.

Q. What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?

A. The moon.

Starting with a strange, but true story, one that comes along once in a BLUE MOON ...... we all see that the moon is bright white or silver or sometimes yellowish, but not blue. Way back in the 14th century they knew the moon (or moone with a silent e) was not blue. An expression of that time - 'he would argue that the moon was blue' meant the same as our expression - 'she'd say black was white'.  So reference to a blue moon meant it was not so, or could not be.

As very little on this earth stays the same for long, a time came when people did see a blue coloured moon. Viewing the moon, at a certain angle, through a haze of chemicals like sulphur, can make the moon look bluish.  In 1883 the Indonesian volcano Krakatau erupted and the dust in the atmosphere made the moon look blue in many parts of the world for almost two years.  In 1927 a very long dry season in India caused enough dust for a blue moon and in 1951 the northern USA saw a blue moon through the smoke from forest fires in Canada. This does not happen very often and so the meaning of the expression altered to refer to something that happened rarely, or from time to time. 

But even this adaption didn't stay in place forever. Centuries ago people around the world  used different calendars and had different names and dates for the months of the year and it was all a bit of a mess if you were travelling. Some calendars followed the phases of the moon, others were based on movements of the sun. Gradually, due to trade and business, these different calendars were adjusted until most of the world was on the same page calendar wise. 

So, we have the year divided into 12 months, each month roughly 30 - 31 days. But the lunar month of 29 days from full moon full moon, is shorter than our calendar month and so it happens occasionally that a month will have two full moons.  This rare event of the second moon in a calendar month has recently become known as a blue moon.  Apparently it happens about 7 times in every 19 years - my husband explained this is because every 19 years the starting point of the earth's orbit around the sun, and the starting point of the moons orbit around the earth line up and they both begin again.

Q: "Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?"

A: "To get to the other side?"

This step in the naming of this phenomenon only developed in the last 25 - 30 years,  cemented into place by the media (it's a cool story when it happens) and also it became an answer in the trivial pursuit game.  This is exciting as it illustrates so well that we live in living history.

And a modern use for the blue moon - poets, and song writers use it to symbolise sadness and loneliness -  see as the Rodgers and Hart Blue Moon duet below - lots of great versions on YouTube.

HE SINGS:

Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

SHE SINGS:
Blue Moon
You knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for

In some areas the moon was such a part of daily life that it stood for the period of time we now call month. The modern honeymoon holiday for newly married couples originates with a custom that began in 4th century Northern Europe.  To start married life on a sweet note, newlyweds drank mead, a drink brewed with honey, every day for the first moon (or month) of their life together - and that was a honeymoon.

A SUPER MOON is another good media story when it appears, and a great opportunity for photographers to show off.  Because the path of the moon's orbit around the earth is an elipse, not a circle there are times when the moon is closer to the earth than it is at other times.  When this closer position happens during a full moon it is called a super moon. People are convinced the moon is huge - but to my eye it's just nearer. 

2013 Super moon over central Australia

We know the moon is made of rock. Astronauts have been to the moon, walked around in the moon dust and brought rocks back to earth so it's difficult for us to understand that at one time people believed the moon was made of something else. We can check back to the 16th century again because that was when the printing press was invented meaning that from then on more copies of printed  works existed and some were kept while before that time the one or two hand made copies were lost of destroyed. We find that from the 16th and 17th centuries there were references to the moon being made of cheese.   

An English poet, John Heywood (1497 - 1580) wrote,  "Ye set circumquaques to make me beleue/ Or thinke, that the moone is made of greene cheese."   (You set circumstances to make me believe or think, that the moon is made of green cheese).  This mocking of the idea that the moon was made of cheese was possibly because some people at the time actually believed it was.   

An ancient folk tale tells of a simple farm boy who sees the reflection of the moon in the water of a pond. Not sure what it is he relates it to something of the same shape that he understands - a wheel of cheese. New, or un-aged cheese was called green cheese.  The story was told over and over and and as so often happens the origin meaning changed to the opposite meaning and up to the 19th century many children actually believed the moon was made of cheese!

Q. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A. Moon pi.

So with everyone looking at the moon over thousands of years it's no surprise that minstrels sang about a MAN IN THE MOON....


The man in the moon 
came down too soon
and asked his way to Norwich;
He went by the south 
and burnt his mouth

while supping cold pease porridge.

Of course this is a bit of nonsense - you can't burn your mouth on cold porridge so it follows that the man in the moon is nonsense too. But, strange creatures that we are this rhyme only added to the belief, at least among children, that there was a man in the moon.

In 1638 an English bishop named Francis Godwin wrote a sci fi book called The Man in the Moone, about a voyage to the moon. The Man in the Moon appeared in ballads and folk stories in many different cultures. This came from shadows on the moon taking on facial features. 

From my own childhood I remember -  

'Hello Mr Moon face, high up in the sky.
I can see you smiling, while in bed I lie'.

But I never actually saw the face in the moon as I grew up in the Southern hemisphere and these old stories come from the old world in the north.  European tradition was to see the figure of an old man on the full moon. He often carried a burden and was accompanied by a dog.

The need to have a visible place of banishment to frighten law breakers could be the reason some Germanic and Roman traditions represent the man in the moon as a thief being punished.  In Chinese mythology the goddess Chang'e is stranded on the moon, with a group of moon rabbits, after drinking a double dose of immortality potion.

The moon has a gravitational pull on the earth and so it affects the wind and the ocean tide. Once again that's the limit of my scientific knowledge.  The moon has been there for a long time so we named it. Our word moon comes from an Old English word, mona.  It was mene in Old German, mano in Old Saxon and Danish. By the 15th century English people were spelling it as moone and then moon.

In Latin the word for moon is Luna and this is still used for things relating to the moon such as the luna calendar.  Luna was also the moon goddess and from her we get the words lunacy and lunatic.  It was believed that the moon affected people and animals, causing madness or illness during the full moon. Science cannot prove this is true but many policemen, nurses and doctors think otherwise. Myths about werewolves or lycanthropes, men who transformed from a man into a wolf under the influence of the full moon, are still part of popular entertainment. 

But whatever you believe the moon is a beautiful thing.

2013 Full moon from east coast Australia

FULL MOON By Walter de la Mare

One night as Dick lay fast asleep,

 Into his drowsy eyes

A great still light began to creep

From out the silent skies.

It was the lovely moon's, for when

He raised his dreamy head,

Her surge of silver filled the pane

And streamed across his bed.

So, for a while, each gazed at each-

Dick and the solemn moon-

Till, climbing slowly on her way,

She vanished, and was gone.

This is a Moon Pie

about QUILTING

Quilting can be defined as the process of stitching three layers of cloth together - modern day quilters call it a quilt sandwich consisting of a top layer of cloth, usually cotton, a layer of wadding or batting, usually wool or cotton and a bottom layer of cloth.  All three layers are stitched through, so they are held together firmly with the rows of stitching close enough to stop the filling moving inside. The three layers are stronger and warmer than single layers of clothing.

The skill of weaving is older even than spinning, as weaving began with grasses and leaves. When people began to produce cloth they opened the way for all the other textile related skills.  Samples of quilting have been found in ruins of ancient Egypt and in ancient China.  Quilted fabrics of cotton, flax, wool and silk, were used to make tents and floor covers as well as clothing like jackets, pants, headwear, undergarments and padding to wear underneath armour.

There were no factories to produce fabric before the 19th century so fabrics woven on looms in homes. This made fabric valuable and scraps from sewing, as well as usable sections of worn out clothing, were kept to be recycled as other clothing and bed covers. This patch work was combined with quilting to make warmer coverings.

Quilted jacket

During the middle ages in Britain heavy cloth, quilted with strong thread stitched in straight lines was worn as body armour by the army of William the Conqueror and the Crusaders. Through the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries, quilted bed covers were mentioned in household inventories and accounts.

Whole cloth quilt

In the 14th century the climate of Western Europe changed and they experienced bitter winters.  People used whatever they could find to fill their quilts from lamb's wool to grass, moss or feathers.  In Britain and Holland making bed covers, or 'bed furniture' became a business for many people. The quilted bed covers became prized possessions that were handed down through generations and other traditions developed around the craft. Before a girl married she was expected to have a number of quilts completed and the last one was often quilted by her relatives and friends. This quilt would become a part of her dowry. It was popular to hold quilting bees, where friends gathered to share the work, sitting around homemade quilting frames and enjoying the social occasion while sharing patterns and skills

Quilting bee

In Europe quilted bed covers and wall hangings were in use before the 16th century.  These quilts were whole cloth quilts, just one colour fabric all over with a design created by quilting. Patterns for the quilting stitches to follow ranged from very simple to very complicated and women with fine quilting skills were sought out to work for wealthy people. The sewing machine was invented around 1790 and this made piecing a quilt top easier and faster but the quilting was still done by hand.

Today quilting is used in a wide range of items such as ski jackets and other cold weather clothing, dressing gowns, slippers, seat covers, tote bags, baby cot liners and change mats, bedding such as pillow covers and mattresses as well as decorative bed quilts.  Commercial quilting is done on huge machines in factories and is not what ladies who love handcrafts mean when they refer to quilting.

Section of a winning quilt from the Australian National Quilt Show

If you asked women in America about quilts they would say that quilting was an American invention.  Possibly they don't realise that quilting was a skill used by the Pilgrims, who were told to take at least one piece of bed furniture with them. IN the early 19th century patchwork and quilting came to Australia with the convicts, who practiced their stitching skills aboard ship.
  

A great example of quilting skills moving from Europe to America is the Amish.  Their quilts are known around the world and Amish quilting patterns and quilts are even sold on the internet.  As part of their life style, being 'plain' people, the Amish wear homemade clothing of plain colours. Their quilts are made from clothing scraps, and while their geometric patchwork designs are greatly admired, it's in the quilting that they become art works.

Amish Quilt

Across the world the skills of patchwork and quilting were in use up until World War l broke out in 1914.  With the men away women found they didn't have the time for sewing and after the war improvements in shipping meant that readymade items were available at reasonable cost. As people became more prosperous they gave their time to other things. The handcraft skills began to fade until the 1960's when the 'back to the basics lifestyle' became popular.

By the early 20th century quilters all around the world were able to use their sewing machines for simple quilting. Today sewing machines are computerised and some are capable of producing very fancy quilting patterns.  Special quilting machines are also available for home use and installed in garages, sheds and spare rooms all over the world.

What began as an activity to protect and warm the family is now a hobby and big business for millions of women and men around the world involved in specialist shops, books, websites and clubs. Conventions, competitions, classes and exhibitions are held. We still stitch for our families and for charity, and patched, embroidered and quilted works are exhibited in art galleries. 

---------------- QUILTERS will understand this ----------------

I've been put on this earth to sew
and finish a certain number of projects.
I am so far behind now…
I will never die! 

--------------------------------